Hey my loves!
So, you know this feeling and desire where you want what you want, and you just don’t seem to stop yourself from desiring it even if it’s all for the wrong reasons somehow you talk yourself in making it look like it’s for the right reason? yeah! Well, that’s not how Christianity should look or feel like.
Here’s my tea.
So, I gained my salvation by myself.
(Wait!!! Let me explain)
So 2020 was a rough year for me and hell broke loose and when I say hell broke loose, it did really break loose. phew! so, I found myself in a state of extreme isolation, rejection, frustration, pain, lost, confusion, suicidal, depression, addictions.
(This is a tea testimony for another day)
And many more just name it all at ONCE. !child! I was dying literally. So a friend of mine invited me to church in that state of mine I said to myself “shooou” what do I have to loose let me just go, so I did and the pastor preached what he had to preach, the choir sang what they had to sing, the congregation hailed Jesus and all. So it was time for Altar call and somehow I found myself in front surrendering myself to JESUS. I said to myself let someone else deal with this mess cause am tired of myself, they say Jesus is good and he takes care of us so let him do.
Fast forward I joined the choir, engaged in evangelism, intercessions I mean all that had to do with the body of Christ I was in it fully. Now you may ask yourself;
“HOW WERE YOU IN IT FOR THE WRONG MOTIVES THEN?!” Question
Answer
Christianity is CHRIST calling you to him at an appointed time, not to deposit your mess on him but allowing him to fix your mess into a beautiful testimony. Inas much as Christ called me at the appointed time, my ego was all over the place, when I think about my friends of the past and how they rejected and deserted me, I will always boast about my faith and sometimes even went as far as praying that God shouldn’t call them to salvation BLAH BLAH BLAH just because I was still so pained and angry at them all. My seeking for approval was all over the place, I did things, said things, childddddd even went to the extend of sharing testimonies which had no business being shared just so people will clap and approve of me because I had hungered for approval so much my whole life.
So I ended up being called by the lord but was fully engaged for all the wrong reasons and God was still merciful to me, he honored me, gave me a big new house, an amazing job, amazing mentors and everything was just so good. And let me take time to say this before I proceed,
“GOD GIVES YOU ACCORDING TO HIS LOVE NOT ACCORDING TO WHAT YOU DESERVE, HIS MERCIES EXTEND OUR FAILURES AND EGO”So another fast forward I was in a good place, “so I thought” all my pains, hurt, depression, suicidal, I mean all I felt before were CAGED I deceived myself in saying they were gone whereas they were caged, and I knew it, but I refused to face or accept it. So God allowed it all to come back (for a reason) as all of my old friends came back and BOOMB 💣 within a blink of an eye I jumped back to my old lifestyle without even thinking twice and I was in it fully ( one thing about me everything I do , I do fully)so I went back living a life of lie cause inasmuch as I was back doing what I wasn’t supposed to be doing in the first place Jesus was already in my heart and somewhat I always felt convicted and with so much rebellion I did return and this time I was in it for all the right motives and refused to go back.
God had to expose me to my fears and pains to redirect me and show me his sufficiency.
So yeah, that’s how I got back on track with ego and self-approval aside and serving GOD IN TRUTH AND IN SPIRIT.
You are reading this article from @gospelupgradeofficial, and I am your writer KEKE YONGA follow us for more TEA time with gospel upgrade.
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